Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
