I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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