I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I think my moral compass just broke
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
