I think I died a long time ago.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
