So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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