bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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