it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
