I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
