I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
