these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
