Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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