It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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