He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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