Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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