I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Randomize
