my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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