I'm drive I can fine osifer
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
