FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
