i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
