just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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