I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
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Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So squirting runs in the family.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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