I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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