we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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