I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You are a genius and a whore.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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