I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
