she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
