Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
