i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
