"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
