I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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