So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Mom said you looked used
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
A+ Viking dick
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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