so explain again why im purple
no
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize