My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
