watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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