Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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