Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
