i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
