He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
