Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
