I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
