Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
