I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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