Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
