how can u be prego again
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
