i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
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im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
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Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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