I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
