No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
