Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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