He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
