My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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