just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize