I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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