I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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