So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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