Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
