so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
