I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
