Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
