I think i sorta joined a cult last night
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
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I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
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And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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