I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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