yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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