It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
